Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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