they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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