We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
