I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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