so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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