I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
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