BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
