you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
