oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
