ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I lost the right to judge tonight
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
