well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
