Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
