so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
