It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
