I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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