i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize