I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
