Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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