nut hugger
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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