Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
