holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
