My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
