I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
