Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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