I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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