Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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