making cat noises will not fix the situation.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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