You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
