Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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