i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize