I think my vagina is haunted
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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