another moral hangover. fuck.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
