Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
