u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
