I bet he comes in French.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
