Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize