I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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