aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
