This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
