i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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