All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize