I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
