We're facebook friends in real life
I just threw up on my dentist
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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