are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
