Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
