Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
They have beer where we have blood.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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