Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
