what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
