I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
