I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
