there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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