We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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