I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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