I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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