Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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