you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize