went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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