Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
