ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
