yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize