I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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