Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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