Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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