At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
