girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
