sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
