I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
