Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
