The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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