is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my shit smells like andre
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
