you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize